Once In a Life Time

Today I've decided to share with you an award I won for Technical Excellence which I received off none other than the Duke of York! And where did I receive my award you might ask, well at the pristigeous Buckingham Palace! 

The inside of Buckingham Palace is just...overwhelming! Everything's big and golden! There were so many small details in all the furniture and so much amazing artistic paintings and sculptures! I wish I could have shown you but NO PHONES! 

But I did get my picture taken receiving my award! 

It really was an amazing experience and I couldn't have done it without the help of all the teaching staff at my school! I really do think that everyone shouldn't take school for granted because they do give you the most amazing experiences of your life and you should embrace that!

Take every oppurtunity that you get because you just might end up meeting the Duke in Buckingham Palace! 

Bullies and Friends

Personally, I know how it feels to feel like everyone is completely against you. From a really young age I've been bullied and pushed aside by people. I wasn't even able to walk home without people spitting in my hair. Back at Junior School I only really had two friends who were there for me through everything but I even managed to push them away at times and hurt them and myself.

During Secondary School I tried to change people's opinion of me but I did it through lying and hurting people who were close to my heart, in the end I ended up with yet again, only two people who I could really trust. But the bullying at school got worse and worse, I would get confronted daily by people wanting to beat me up or emotionally hurt me. Eventually they pushed me over the edge, I had to move schools as I wasn't even going to lessons much anymore.

I moved to another Secondary School that had a lot less girls. I made friends with one of the most popular girls in the school but she ended up being a user and I walked away from our friendship. The bullying wasn't as bad at this school, none of it was physical so I felt better but people still had to pull at my heart strings and get me down emotionally in places they knew would hurt. But the end of school was near so I stayed strong.

Not having many options after school I stayed in their six form which I am currently still at! I made a whole new friend group and got a whole new boyfriend! Everything seemed amazing, until me and my boyfriend broke up. I feel a bit awkward around him and his mates now and the fact that some of them are in a bad mood whenever I see them doesn't help. I feel isolated from the only friendship group that I have with only one person I can trust to talk to about my feelings. I just seem to get in the way but I don't want to leave them because I love them all so much.

The bullying has stopped but where are all my friends?

Coming Out...

No this isn't about me being gay, this is actually something that I don't share about myself very often and I think it might change a lot of people's opinion of me. You might think I'm piece of trash or dirt with what I'm about to say but I think a lot of people suffer with it and I finally want people to know what the deal is with me.

I'm the kind of person that will fall in love so easily, the kind of person who will go from one relationship where I think I'm in love and within the next month I'll be onto my next guy. I get people say stuff behind my back a lot saying that I'm a slag and that I don't what love is but no one has actually asked me why I do this, ever!

I have a fear of being alone, to some it may sound strange and to others you may have the same problem. But basically I've brought it down to a couple of things. First of all, I love affection, everyone does! I can't help but just want someone who's special to give me little cuddles and to tell me that I'm beautiful. Honestly, I never believe people when they say I'm good looking but if I'm dating someone and they say it, it means everything in the world to me, especially if that person isn't normally the type to show affection to anyone.

Another reason I think I can't be alone is for the pure fact that without a relationship I feel unloved. If I'm single, I generally isolate myself until another guy reaches out and tries to help me and normally he'll be my next boyfriend.

The worst break up I have ever experienced was the break up with the guy I lost my virginity to as he was so important to me and I genuinely feel like I was in love, I still care about him now and get jealous when I see him with other girls but that's just girls for you. It took me about 4 months to move onto my next guy after I broke up with him and that's the longest I haven't had a boyfriend for.

More recently I've had a break up that has knocked down my walls, I literally feel heartbroken over it and this person was the inspiration for this blog because when we broke up his words to me were "I just feel like another peg on your washing line". I have never cried so much in my life because with this lad everything felt so different. I felt like I was finally in a relationship that wasn't just about the physical side even though I would make jokes about it and I felt like I didn't actually want to be with anyone after him.

Everyday since my break up with this boy I have tried and tried to build my walls back up but they keep falling back down. I refuse any help from other guys because I don't want to get involved with anyone else because I just want to be with him. I can't see myself with anyone else and yet I can't see him ever wanting to get back with me. He was my everything and now I just feel like I have nothing.

If you're reading this right now, know that you aren't just another peg on my line! You're my favourite peg and I wanted you to be my last peg. I've done all I can and it's not working, I love you to bits! You mean the absolute world to me.

I guess that's all I can really say.
K.bye.

Being different

This blog post is dedicated to a friend of mine that goes through a really hard time! He gets bullied quite a lot for being himself, for just being different. One thing that people don't know about him is he's more different than they think. Previously in his life he's dressed up as a girl in his spare time. He doesn't do it in public, just I'm the safety if his own room.

One day he came up to me and told me what he was doing and he said "should I stop?" This person believed that they never got girls or had any friends because he was a bit different so I told him that no matter what his hobby is I will always be his friend. Apparently he has lost people's friendship through telling them about his 'hobby' but I could never dream of falling out with someone over something they like! 

I don't see why we all can't have a little acceptance for people around us. So what they're different! Everyone is! What if you found out that your best friend liked dressing up as the opposite sex, would you really change the way you feel about them. Would you really choose to no longer accept them?!

Don't judge people to harshly! You never know what secrets your own friends hold...

K.bye.

Causing more mischief

So if you know me well you'll know I like to cause mischief here and there and maybe I'll blog about some of the past time I've caused mischief but for now you might as well hear today's story.

So I love playing makeovers with my friends and love making them look fabulously pretty but when you have the opportunity to makeover your dad, you have to go all out! So I did! 

I call this look army man with a moustache! I think it's definitely my best look yet!

If you would like to recreate this look all you need is eyeshadows in the colours light green, dark green and black. You'll also need someone else to do it on and about 40 minutes to spare of your life.

Yep I spent 40 minutes making my dad look like a bruised gremlin!! And about an hour taking it back off again :o!!! 

Anyway, I don't know what else you expect me to say apart from k.bye. 

What's on my iPhone?

This blog post is for me to show you some of my most used apps and maybe recommend some apps to you and maybe find some new ones for myself,ha.

So, I'm a complete social freak and can't go without talking to people for like two seconds ;) so in my social folder of which I have two pages, ha. I have...

1. Facebook:

An essential as my boyfriend never answers his texts and to keep up to date on what family and friends are doing. You should all be Facebook experts by now though, you seem to use a computer.

2. Twitter:

Ah,Twitter! Originally made to keep up to date with celebrities. Now just to stalk Miley Cyrus and tweet to her everyday in hope that she may one day be my friend :) ha.

3. Instagram:

Selfie Central!! Where you can show of your face without being a disgrace! 

4. Ask.fm:

Where people think it's a great idea to bully others just because they have a button that makes them anonymous, pha! 

5. BBM:

Just to prove that there is no need to even buy a blackberry anymore :) and to keep in touch with my fat boy :* 

6. Snapchat: 

Where I can "most of the time" get away with sending people ugly photos and them not being able to use them against me!

7. WhatsApp:

Basically the same as text but it's an app now. Oh, you can send free pics?

8. Skype:

To talk to your friends with your face :)

9. FaceTime:

To talk to your smartphone friends with your face :)

10. BootyShake:

Where you shake your phone to find local people who also shake their phones!!

11. Pinterest:

Where I show people what I like through pictures, oh god! You will be scarred for life if you don't like Miley! 

12. Tumblr:

Post whatever the duck you like for the whole world to see!

13. TBH:

Telling people your honest opinion on them...or just kissing their ass so they'll say something nice back :)

14. Kik:

The best place to keep conversations of people you don't actually know but pretend to!!

Moving onto my music folder. We have...

1. Spotify:

Where I make a playlist and they add in more songs that I didn't want to listen to because i don't pay them money :)

2. Shazam:

Tells me what I'm fucking shit listening to!

3. Rdio:

Plays all the music I want for a 12 day trial and then becomes useless...

4. Magic Piano:

Some shit I fucking suck at and go bat shit at when I lose!! 

5. iTunes Store:

Never been fucking used.

6: Sing!:

All the free songs are either ones I've never heard of or they're nursery rhymes

7: AutoRap: 

My friend uses to make fun of me 

Books...

1. Kindle:

Where I download free books that I don't really read but leave there to make me look intelligent :) 

2. Audible:

Where I listen to tone deaf women read me the books I cba to read myself!

That's most of the stuff that I actually have on my phone. This blog was created with my Blogger app! That's cool! 

You can leave now.k.bye.

CATS!

A lot of people tend to have pets. The most common pets are dogs or cats. Myself I've always wanted a small dog and I once had a dog when I was too young to remember, his name was Tosh.

But anyway, this post is about my two very adorable cats! They are both half bengals which are very beautiful cats similar to the Egyptian Mau. We got our first cat, Pepper

 

For my sisters 18th birthday, she is now about 6 years old and still a playful little bugger. In fact just yesterday she opened the door and walked in on me having a bath. And instead of being like a normal cat and going "Urghhhh, I hate water I'm out of here". She decided to instead climb onto the bath and then try and balance on my legs which were only just sticking out of the water...don't believe me?

There she is looking rather fuzzy getting onto my legs! She is the adventurous one after all though. 

As for the other cat, I got here as an early Christmas present back in October of 2010. 

That's her when we first got her :) she's adorable! If you can't figure out her age, you're stupid! She's about 3 years old and still looks like a kitten in comparison to Pepper. Poppy (my cats name) is the shy but cute one. She loves playing with me in the garden but only if I get down to her level usually! She gets scared by the postman everytime he comes and if you so happen to be holding her when she gets scared you may lose an arm! But in reality, she wouldn't hurt a fly! 

That's her more recently! Now you see what I mean about still being a kitten! We very often get the two cats mixed up and you have to look at their faces to tell them apart because Poppy has more of a baby face.

Anyway, yes... Together the cats love to play and Poppy likes to copy and follow Pepper around! They are absolutely adorable together! I'm sure there will probably be more posts about them as they do cause a lot of hassle, especially for my dad, ha! 

Well, what are you still doing here? Get lost already. K.bye.

Accident prone...

I do believe I told you that I'd tell you about a clumsy thing I did today...well I'll show you.

That, people of the web, is my eye. If you haven't noticed it is slightly BURNT!!

Now you may ask, "Beckie, how on earth do you burn your eye?". We'll lets just say if you haven't experienced sneezing whilst curling your hair at 210 degrees, don't try it!! Yes, I sneezed and hit my face on my curling wand. The curling wand of which I only just received for Christmas and now has nearly been conviscated off me for being "a dangerous item to hurt myself with"...

I do hope that any other girl out there (or well barbered man) have the common sense to stop curling their hair if they feel the need to sneeze.

Have fun laughing at me, I laughed quite a bit, once the pain had subsided! 

You may leave now. k.bye. 

Oh and don't worry... 

I finished curling my hair!

Intro to myself

So, yep. That's me, whatever. Not perfect as you may be able to tell but who cares. If I was perfect these blogs would be even more boring than they already are because you wouldn't be able to laugh at my clumsy mistakes! (This will soon become apparent)

At the moment I am in my teen years, I shall not tell you which, I shall only tell you that soon I have a birthday coming up. It'll be fun, there will be cake, you should come, what do you mean you didn't get your invite? Oh it must have got lost in the mail, sorry you can't come without an invite!! 

Anyway, I am currently studying 3 subjects at six form. They are engineering, maths and business. Feel free to send me your notes if you do the same subjects ;) 

I am very clumsy but always have a good laugh about it! I enjoy doing what all teens do...hanging out with my mates, playing games...get with it. I shouldn't have to tell you this stuff. Anyway, I'll leave it at that. If I miss stuff out I will update you later in life but I couldn't see how my life would be that interesting to you.

:) k.bye.